requiem

 eidame thn tainia kai eklapsa kai eniosa lonely paranoid no hope 

i thought for my dad some moment after hour only person that felt soothing what if i had nobody 

where are friends 

why is so difficult to connect 

niwthw 

auth h tupsisa pthele n vgei sth tv den p paranoise ap ta xapia she..

epatha trelo trigger skeftomoun to nikita k ola 

kai den jero an nikaei to trigger skeftomoun toi tha pethano moni? h kapos etsi ala pio sumvatika

skefthka to panic attack ths elinas 

auto p me pnigei 

skeftika oti to xe pathei spiti t spurou tr

skeftoomai tous anthropous 

skeftomai oti h zoh m den exei nohma skeftomai pos 

o nikitas eipe no meaning

skeftika to bad trip m otan thn evlepa to pos htan kai den mporo na to 

epejergasto 

skeftomai oti tha katalijo na xo trigger sta panta

se kapia fash skefthka emena mikrh piso apo th porta t mpaniou na akoumpao ta gonata m na fovame to xristo kai na skeftome oti isos ola auta na einai psemmata 

h mama oloi na paizountheatro kai na me se ena matrix , h tou theou kataskeuasma 

san tpt na mhn einai alithino 

mporei na nai demones p exoun metamfiestei kai kanoun pos einai autoi 

h oti ola mporei na nai oneiro 

k eixa frikarei 

kai meta stamatisa na to skeftomai .

den antexw all ona niwthw etsi 

xriazomai voithia 

xriazomai kapoion ..

sugnwmh 

den jerw an apla agnow ola auta ta triggers ta traumata kai afou uparxoun mesa m tote mporei pote na mhn eimai xaroumenh an den ta liso tha luthoun tha gnorisoume thn agaph 

uparxei ?

jereis

den jerw tpt kai auto me frikarei 

frikarw toso polu 

makari na mporousa na 

ξερω οτι αν παθω κριση πανικου η αν τρελαθω δεν θα ναι κανεις εκει για μενα 

και ξερω πως ανμινω λογικη 

παρουσα αν καταφερω να πιανομαι απ το νημα τησ ζωησ 

αν δεν φυγω απο το ποταμι 

εχω πιο πολλεσ πιθανοττηεσ να βρω ενα μεροσ καποιον 

ισωσ καποιουσ 

πρεπει να συνεχισω να ψαχνω

νιωθω οτι αν τα παρατησω 

εκει περα υπαρχει μονο σκοταδι και το τιποτα 

αυτο το συναισθημα 

αυτα τα συναισθηματα 

δεν ξερω γτ υπαρχουν 

i just think that nobody will ever undrestand my darkness 

 i thought dimosthenis because undrestands part of me is how i feel but he doesnt undrestand nothing 

he 

idk 

even if he does he just wanna stay away from me 

aand i undrestand that..

i dont blame that

i just think there is sb for me 

that can see this darkness this pain actually and not be scared and see my light to o

i need somebody that is courageous  enough that is ready for that that he is not afraid of me ...